The father who courageously entered an Oregon elementary school and fatally shot a teenage ɠυɳɱαɳ has spoken publicly for the first time, revealing the terrifying moments inside the school and the overwhelming guilt he carries for the four lives he couldn’t save.

Kaylub Giamanco, 36, a carpenter and father of two, is being hailed as a hero after confronting 16-year-old Griffin J. John II during the October 15 mass śh́óóting at Silver Rail Elementary School in Bend, Oregon.

In an emotional interview with Oregon Public Broadcasting, Giamanco described how an ordinary afternoon turned into the most terrifying experience of his life.

That morning, he had helped his wife prepare their two daughters, ages 5 and 10, for school picture day before dropping them off at Silver Rail Elementary.

He then headed to work.

Around lunchtime, Giamanco decided to return home to eat leftover tacos with his wife rather than eat the lunch he had packed.

That seemingly insignificant decision placed him near his daughters’ school at the exact moment the ɠυɳɱαɳ approached.

Giamanco initially spotted someone dressed in black carrying what appeared to be a rifle. He wondered whether it was a prank until he witnessed the individual firing at a passing pickup truck and toward a woman mowing the school’s lawn.

When the ɠυɳɱαɳ climbed over the school fence, Giamanco realized children were in immediate danger.

He retrieved a handgun from his truck and called 911.

Overwhelmed by fear for the children inside, he told the dispatcher:

“I’m sorry. I have to go in. People are going to die.”

He climbed over the fence and followed the šhσσtєr into the building.

Once inside, Giamanco began hearing gunshots and children screaming and pleading for their lives.

He dropped to the floor and began army-crawling toward the gunfire.

He recalled believing he might not survive.

“I told myself this is probably the last thing that I’m ever going to do.”

When he reached the classroom, he saw a teacher physically struggling with the ɠυɳɱαɳ.

Giamanco fired his w𝔢𝔞𝔭𝔬η, causing both the teacher and šhσσtєr to fall.

When the ɠυɳɱαɳ attempted to retrieve his w𝔢𝔞𝔭𝔬η, Giamanco fired two additional śh́óts, fatally wounding him.

There is no telling how many lives Griffin would have ended if he hadn’t been shot down.

However, despite being celebrated nationwide as a hero, Giamanco says he cannot stop thinking about the children and teacher who died before he could reach them.

His most heartbreaking comments came when he discussed the victims’ families.

“I want to apologize for not saving their babies.”

He continued:

“The gratitude for saving people’s children is awesome, but there were ones that I didn’t save.”

Giamanco also praised the teacher who fought the ɠυɳɱαɳ, saying her actions helped give him the opportunity to stop the αttαᑕk.

He said he would love to hug her because he considers her a true hero.

The tᩚraɢedy has taken an enormous emotional toll on Giamanco.

He revealed that he struggles to sleep and repeatedly relives the horrifying moments inside the classroom.

“I relive, I see faces, I hear voices, I hear screams.”

He also thinks about the 16-year-old whose life he ended, questioning whether the tᩚraɢedy could have been prevented.

Giamanco said he believes that greater love, parental involvement and support might have changed the teenager’s path.

His own daughters are also struggling in the aftermath.

The family has temporarily relocated because their home overlooks the elementary school, making it difficult to escape reminders of the tᩚraɢedy. 😢

Giamanco said his 5-year-old daughter frequently approaches him for hugs, repeatedly telling him she loves him.

His 10-year-old daughter has been more reserved, but he can see the emotional impact in her eyes.

He continues reassuring both girls that he loves them and will always do everything he can to protect them.

Although he never wanted public recognition, Giamanco now hopes to use the attention surrounding his actions to advocate for improved school security.

He is considering organizing a motocross fundraiser to help schools install stronger locks, protective glass and other security improvements.

He also supports placing school resource officers at every school.

Reflecting on how dramatically his life has changed, Giamanco said:

“I’ve always wanted to change the world, but I’ve felt small. I’m just a carpenter from Bend, Oregon.”

He hopes something meaningful can emerge from the tᩚraɢedy.